Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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