please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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