wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize