Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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