My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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