But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
