Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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