I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
