So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
