All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
