I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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