So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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