he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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