and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
