Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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