Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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