There was a lot of him and a little penis
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We are all done wearing pants today
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
