K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
