our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
