Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Panties = found
Randomize
