Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
we should paint friendship bongs
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize