Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
