4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
the condom got lost in my hair
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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