Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
