So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
