She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize