I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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