I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
