I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You made out with two different species that night
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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