I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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