She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
