Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The air taste purple.
Randomize
