It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
