aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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