Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
