dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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