Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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