I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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