Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
