omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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