Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
