On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
and she was petting her beer can
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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