It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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