You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Randomize
