a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
