We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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