Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize