it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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