I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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