Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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