The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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