Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
