yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it glows. i had to have it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
