Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
