it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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