My brain says no but my pants say off.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
