I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
