3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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