Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
