Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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