I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
