im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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