Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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