he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
