Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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