she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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