im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
