Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
where are my eyebrows?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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