Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
