i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
